Disgraceful - Just a fuckin' animal...

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	Disgraceful - Just a fuckin' animal...
About me Fear NOT, for I am a skinny, fey, drug-addled tart...and I am here to save your soul. See that minging old bag off to the bottom there? Specifically, I'm here to save your soul from her and her spirtual compatriots. AREN'T YOU GLAD?! Hey, if I had a gauche little 16-year-old hip-swiveller called Justin come and show ME the "Good News", I'd be on my knees repenting right now. Oh, remember the smelly old bag down below? That's Maggie. she won't be pleased to hear that I'm not about to push you all into church. Oh no. What's that? You thought I WAS?! ::SLAP!:: Now let that be a lesson to ye, boys and girls. No, why waste your time searching for the secret of life imbibing stale bread and singing hymns that sound like they were written by whatever plumber Morrissey is working with these days? You've got ME! The secret of life is...........SUEDE!. Yes. Skinny-rib jumpers, lank fringes, enormous debts to David Bowie, and most important of all: lots and LOTS of sex, lots and LOTS of drugs, and spiff battered leather jackets to boot. Now consider this the first of my commandments, my children. Go forth into thou own subruban hovels, and let ye get shitfaced and shake thy bits to thy hits in WORSHIP of Them. As you sit drooling, waiting for further epstiles (and make no mistake, there WILL be more), continue your epiphany (your "dancing into the light", if you want to quote The World's Favourite Drummer, Mr Phil Collins) here . May you never be as angular as Neil Codling's cheekbones, and may Bernard Butler never darken your door. Peace be with you.
What I'm interested in: The music! I do enjoy a bit of the noise...tee-hee... Yer Suedes, yer Pulps, yer Bowies, yer Smiths, yer Radioheads, yer Sleepers...oh wait, that last one is just for the bird. Really! As well, I reckon I'd have to put Joy Division, New Order, Kenickie, Lush, and Elastica in there somewhere. NO, not Blur! I do mess about in the odd pop combo every now and again...and my microphone windmills are just simply marvelous, dahling... The stimulants! Reading! ART! Film! And then you get into the REAL stimulants, haha! The mates! Stay tuned for a special feature on certain people who choose to put up with me. I call them "Mates"!
My favourite links www.suede.co.uk - Come and be saved, heathen. Jo's Mersey Paradise - Miss Jo, the true dark star. Allison Shaw, the pop duchess - Write to my kind employer. Buy some of my rants in REAL print! Oooooh, fancy that! Bernard Butler - Oh fuck it...he may be a cunt, but come on!
You can email me on [email protected]


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